3132 West Something Street, Somewhere, USA | 456-743-1280 | email@example.com
Professional with the utmost respect for lawyers (usually), able to read minds, handle multiple tasks without any direction, and never cries when yelled at in front of colleagues.
Cranky, Mean, and Rude P.C. 2015 – 2018
- Did everything I could do but still got yelled at.
- Docketed deadlines using an archaic system that should have expired 10 years ago.
- e-Filed documents at 11:59 almost every day for the same attorney.
- Ran to court to file paper documents consistently five minutes before the court closed. Begged and bribed the court clerk to let me into the door.
Happy and Smiley LLC 2010 – 2015
- Learned a new skill and loved the firm.
- Docketed deadlines and had to explain to the attorneys daily why they received rules based junk in their Outlook Calendars.
- Saved the firm lots of money by buying my own coffee. The coffee at the firm was horrible anyway.
- Successfully assisted in developing docketing policy that was never followed.
Does, Knot, Giv and Dam 2000 – 2010
- Ran to court with last minute filings.
- Delivered courtesy copies to old judges that would not accept modern technology.
- Disposed of any mail that did not have an individual listed as the addressee.
- Got yelled at all the time by the same secretary for being late with delivering mail.
- Ability to use Microsoft products without getting trained. No training was available anyway.
- Proficient in reading minds.
- Adheres to all silly policies that did not apply to those in the “favorites” circle.
- Frequently clicks the “like” link on firm articles on LinkedIn hoping to get noticed.
Finally finished college while working and it really did not help finding a job – 1997
Disclaimer: This is nothing but my attempt at humor. I have successfully supported lawyers for over 25 years and have the utmost respect for the profession.